As I sit here 37 weeks pregnant with my fifth baby, I figured that today of all days would be perfect to finally share my vbac story of the day that Benjamin was born. I mean he is almost two now, so better late than never. It’s long, but I hope that you will enjoy.

Before I jump into story, I feel I should preface my story with an explanation behind why I am so passionate about birthing rights. If you look back on this blog, you will see all three of my previous birth stories, each one extremely different. Here is a short recap for those of you who aren’t familiar with my history:

For my first birth my doctor believed that my petite frame wasn’t capable of childbirth, and by 36 weeks gestation she was prepping us to expect a cesarean delivery. I knew nothing about childbirth at the time, but I knew better than to consent to an automatic cesarean- so I countered her recommendation asking for an alternative. She very bluntly said my only other option was a 39 week induction of labor- so I took it. During this induction I was so proud of my body for progressing, however my doctor was not impressed, and told me that I was not progressing at the rate I was supposed to. 5 hours into my induction she came back and told us that she was doubtful of my ability to deliver vaginally. She stated that continuing labor would most likely cause fetal distress in the next few hours, so a cesarean was our safest option for our baby. Believing that our doctor had our best interest at heart, we consented to the surgery and our sweet firstborn was delivered via surgical birth at 12:55pm. It was not a “bad” birth- but mentally it planted seeds of self-doubt in myself that eventually spiraled into a depression.

Fast forward to our second pregnancy. I knew that I wanted to try again and I knew that vaginal births after cesareans were a thing. I hadn’t researched the topic, but I knew that my mother had a successful vbac with my sister, so why couldn’t I? When I presented the request to my doctor I was immediately shot down. I was told that my body wouldn’t handle labor any differently this time and that even if it would, she didn’t do VBACs. I was disappointed, but I didn’t fight against her, and decided instead to make it the best cesarean that I could. This time I had a birth plan in hand when admitting and I wanted to call the shots to have an amazing birth experience. Everything went extremely smooth, I got my baby placed on me much sooner, I wasn’t doped up on loopy medications and I got my golden hour. It was overall a great delivery experience, but the postpartum recovery was much harder than my first was. I encountered postpartum depression again, but at the time I was unaware that it even existed.

About 13 months later I found out I was expecting a third, and I immediately spiraled into a deep depression over it. I knew my doctor wouldn’t support a VBAC and I refused having another surgery, but I also knew that I refused any other option other than delivering a healthy baby. During this pregnancy I ultimately chose to fight for my right to deliver how I wanted to. After heavy research, I knew that my first cesarean was not in my best interest and I felt 100% betrayed. I didn’t trust my OB at this point and I began to search for someone to support me through the birth I wanted. All of the OBs in my area that I called denied me because I had gone through two cesareans. I finally found a doctor 2 hours away from me that agreed to give me a shot and support me through my “dream” birth. I switched care at 22 weeks gestation and then COVID hit around 23-24 weeks into my pregnancy bringing so much fear and uncertainty into this pregnancy. To make a long story short, I did end up being induced at 40 weeks due to my baby measuring small, and I did end up asking for medication that almost compromised my vbac, but after a 21 hour labor I successfully delivered him vaginally and it was SUCH a healing experience. I was on a birth high for months! I knew I wanted to experience it again.

7 short months later I was overjoyed to find out that I was pregnant with Benjamin! I couldn’t wait to try for the unmedicated vbac that I wanted. I knew that the induction had thrown out most of my birth plan, and this time I wanted to go for a birth that had less interventions. I didn’t want to be induced, I didn’t want all the fluids and monitoring- just a peaceful natural birth.

When I was 37 weeks pregnant, I just knew I was in labor. It started while I was at work organizing a giant closet. I remember feeling Braxton Hicks, but then all of the sudden the intensity changed. They were becoming much more regular and started taking my breath away. I remember thinking ” NO! I’m not ready- I have to finish organizing this closet, and the Fall Festival is this weekend. It is NOT the time to be having a baby.” I was the event coordinator for my kid’s school and I was about to organize the first huge Fall Festival and I did not want to hand it over to someone else. I told Benjamin to stay put and I got back to work. Contractions continued all day and into the night. I remember drawing a hot bath to soak in just to relieve the pressure of the contractions. Miraculously, once I got in the water the contractions grew farther and farther apart- eventually fizzling out. I was blown away.

The next day the same thing happened, I contracted every 5 minutes for at least 50-60 seconds each and I was exhausted by the end of the day. Get in the bath, and it would disappear. Then one day they didn’t disappear, they hung out for a while. Each one started growing in intensity and demanding my attention and my gut told me that it was time to head into the hospital. We called over my parents to watch our other kids, grabbed our go bags, and made the two hour trip to the hospital. I remember the contractions the entire car ride were so uncomfortable. I was timing them and texting my doula and she was on the edge of her seat waiting to get the go ahead from me to head over to the hospital. I wanted to wait for the cervical check to make sure it was the right time for her to come.

Once there we went to triage to be evaluated. They had me change into a gown, climb into a bed, they checked vitals, put fetal monitoring around me and said they would see how close the contractions were in the next 20 minutes. They went ahead and sent a nurse in for a cervical exam, and I just knew that I was at least 4cm dilated- I had been working SO HARD. Her check revealed that I was indeed dilated, but only to 1cm. I was devastated, there was no way. I had been laboring for days- I had to have made more progress than that. They decided to go ahead and monitor the contractions and see what happens.

No lie, as I laid there in bed, my contractions, which were 4 minutes apart at this time, started spacing out to 6 minutes apart and then 10 minutes apart. All the labor intensity was disappearing and I was left completely confused. A nurse came in noticing on the monitor the decrease of contraction frequency and recommended that I go ahead and go home- I was not in active labor. It was SO hard leaving that hospital. I felt so silly for thinking I was in labor when I obviously wasn’t.

We had our 38 wk OB appointment that next day, so we elected to stay in town at a hotel and then see him the next day. When we arrived at the appointment we went over the night before with the OB and consented to another cervical check. I was 3cm dilated! I hadn’t noticed heavy contractions overnight, my body had taken a break and gotten some much needed rest, but it was still working behind the scenes. Baby had descended and I was progressing. This brought me much excitement. But because I wasn’t experiencing contractions at the time, and my water was still intact, my OB recommended to go home and return when labor picked up. I remember him saying he would be surprised if I didn’t come back ready to deliver before my appointment the following week.

Well, a week went by- no labor. We showed up for our 39 week appointment and laughed at the fact that I was still pregnant. I consented to another cervical check to find out that I was still 3cm, but my cervix was favoring labor more and more. Once again we left with our OB saying that he was doubtful I would make it to 40 weeks. We went home to experience another week of intense Braxton Hicks that would fizzle out in the tub. By this point I was taking several baths a day to just get relief.

We showed up for our 40 week appointment and then our 41 week appointment, laughing over and over that I was STILL PREGNANT. I knew at this appointment that I wanted to get a membrane sweep. I didn’t want a pitocin induction, but I was ready for something to jumpstart this labor. I was disappointed to find that it wasn’t in my best interest to have a sweep done, because I was positive for group B strep. So once again, I was sent home to wait on labor- knowing that the next time I drove to the doctor it would either be in labor, or to be induced.

We made the two hour trip home and I was exhausted- physically, mentally, and emotionally. As soon as I got home I decided to lay down for a nap. A few minutes after laying down I felt like I had peed on myself. Confused I got up to go change and more fluid leaked out. I was fairly certain this was amniotic fluid, but I had always just imagined that it would “break” and all leak out at once. I wasn’t convinced yet- I just wanted a nap. I changed clothes, got back in bed and it happened again and I remember thinking, ” Dang it, I have to go tell Brad.” So at around 3:00pm I walked out into the living room, told him that I was pretty sure my water broke, but I didn’t want to go to the hospital yet because I wasn’t contracting. Of course he didn’t agree with my opinion of when I should go to the hospital. This was our first experience with spontaneous labor and my entire family was so nervous whether or not I would make the drive there. I was oddly at peace, I knew that a baby was coming soon because my water had ruptured, but I also knew that once I got to the hospital I would be put on a clock BECAUSE my water had broken. Many hospitals want you to deliver within 12 hours of rupture, and my labor with Joshua had been 21 hours. So I was standing my ground and staying home for a little while longer. I moseyed around the house, packing last minute hospital things, cleaning, etc. waiting on contractions to pick up, which they did around 3:30, coming around 10 minutes apart.

Of course my husband let my parents know what was going on and at 5:00pm they showed up at our house, basically pushing me out the door and into the car. At this time my contractions were every 8 minutes apart and I was still leaking fluid every-time I stood up or contracted, so I finally agreed to go. I applied Clary Sage to my ankles before leaving hoping that it would get things moving so that I would be in active labor by the time we got to the hospital. I did not want to admit and then have to get pitocin.

So we left the house for the hospital. About 30 minutes into the drive I got Brad to drive through and get me a smoothie, I knew that once I got to the hospital the protocol is to not eat in labor, and I wanted to make sure I had energy to get me through it. I remember the girl working the window laughing at me when I asked her which smoothie would give me the most energy during labor. I called my doula/photographer on the way and let her know to go ahead and head to the hospital. Contractions picked up on the way, but they weren’t near as bad as the car ride I had at 37 weeks pregnant.

We ended up arriving at the hospital around 7:00, we admitted into triage and they confirmed that my water had broken, but I denied a cervical check. I had no desire to know how far I was, I just wanted to go with the flow and not have a reason to be discouraged. They decided because my waters indeed had broken that they would admit me without “requiring” to a cervical check. We got into to our room around 8:30pm and I was hooked up to the antibiotics that I needed due to being GBS positive. I labored for about an hour in the room on a birth ball. The contractions grew in intensity, sometimes requiring me to pause during them. But I was able to talk and laugh in between and sometimes through the contractions.

Around 9pm my antibiotics had finished and I was able to detach from the IV pole, and about 20 minutes later my OB came by to check on me. Since he was there, I went ahead and let him check my cervix to see where I was at. He confirmed that I was dilated 4cm, I was 90% effaced, and baby was at a -2 station. I was pleased with that and continued to labor.

Not long after I felt the increasing urge to go to the bathroom. I remembered that our body’s need to clear out our system usually meant that baby was descending further into the pelvis and delivery was getting closer. The first trip to the bathroom was a doozy. Naturally, I closed the door behind me for privacy, out of habit. But soon after I regretted that decision. Many birth workers refer to the toilet as the dilation station, and that night I found out first hand why. When you sit on the toilet, it not only opens up your pelvic but it naturally relaxes the ligaments, allowing contractions to work more affectively. And boy did they work. I believe I spent about 6 contractions in the bathroom while my husband and doula chatted in the labor room. I remember thinking, is anyone looking at the monitor? They probably have no idea what is going on in here. I didn’t want to holler and draw attention, but I secretly hoped that someone would peek in and save me from these horrible contractions. I finally caught a big enough break to escape the bathroom and I walked back to my exercise ball, but this time sitting on it was not comfortable. I called for a nurse to come and check me again. I just knew that I was close to delivery.

The nurse came in at 10:30pm and after a quick exam told me I was already at 6cm dilated after just an hour of laboring! By this point my contractions are best described as intense. They are one on top of the other. Each contraction lasted over a minute and they were 2 minutes apart at this point. Meaning one barely finished before another started peaking. I didn’t get a break to catch my breath in between. I remember feeling so out of control. I didn’t know what to ask for in terms of support. My husband offered counter pressure during some contractions which was helpful, and then he got a nurse to bring a heating pack which was nice. But I was frozen on my knees in bed. I felt like a new position would be helpful, but I couldn’t get a break long enough to decide what to switch to.

During this time I felt so much pressure, I literally felt my baby in my birth canal and out of nowhere my body would let out a scream and push involuntarily. I called the nurse back in only 19 minutes after she examined me asking for another check. She very kindly told me that it hadn’t been that long since my last check. I went through another contraction with involuntary pushing and she discouraged me from pushing. I knew that pushing before fully dilated caused issues, but this was completely out of my control. I couldn’t hold back. She agreed to check me again and found that I was 9cm. She rushed out of the room to call my doctor who arrived in my room at 11:00pm. At this point I was laboring on all fours in bed, my bottom exposed to anyone who walked into my room. I was roaring and pushing through contractions with a panicked feeling. Feeling so out of control of my own body was so bizarre.

The pain was so intense that I froze mid contraction. My OB stated that I needed to flip to my back for him to evaluate where we were. He was already “gowned up” for delivery, but I told him nope. I couldn’t move. I wanted to stay like I was. Calmly he told me again that I needed to flip over to my back. My husband leaned in, trying to convince me to make the change. It took about two or three contractions, but with my husbands help, I made the flip and gripped onto the bed handles for dear life. My bed was semi-reclined, my feet went in the stirrups and my bottom shot into the air with each contraction.

I had said I didn’t want coached pushing, so at the onset of contractions I told them I was going to push. After 2-3 good pushes, my doctor informed me that baby’s head was crooked, so he was going to manually rotate it. As soon as he did, I felt the intense ring of fire that everyone describes in natural labor. I was encouraged to breathe through it and let my perineum stretch through a contraction. Boy was that hard! With the next contraction his head was born and the rest of his body quickly followed.

At 11:19pm, just less than 3 hours after I arrived in my L&D room, my baby boy was placed on my chest. I felt immediate relief. I had done it! I couldn’t believe it! He cried and cried. My placenta followed (without the aid of pitocin) 10 minutes later.

After a bit of skin to skin, baby needed suction and stimulation. He was evaluated and brought back to me and we continued over an hour of skin to skin and nursing. He had a little bruising on face from fast/crooked delivery, but. he was so perfect weighing in at 7lb 15oz.

Joshua’s VBAC was such a healing one. It helped me prove to myself that I was capable of birthing my baby. Benjamin’s birth was so empowering. Not only was I capable of pushing out a baby, but I was strong enough to get through an unmedicated natural labor.

As I await the birth of our fifth baby, I can help but hope that her labor is similar to Benjamin’s. I can’t wait to see how it unfolds. I am so thankful for a doctor and a hospital staff that truly believes in natural birth and who routinely give women a choice in every aspect of her birth. There is nothing like birthing with the ultimate birth team!

Photo Credit: Cayla Lynne Photography- Lafayette, LA.

OBGYN: Dr. Damon Cudihy with Acadiana OBGYN in Lafayette, LA.

Hospital: Lafayette General Medical Center